To confess a sin to God, gives us much power over our enemy; it opens us up to receive God’s mercy and grace – which he gives us willingly in our weakness. I am guilty of asking a particular question of Him, and I’m not proud of it. In fact, as recently as this morning the “question” crossed my mind while not leaving my mouth – but God is omniscient and absolutely hears our thoughts. If you don’t believe that, let this serve as proof.
The situation I find myself in at present (sudden unemployment) is not one I’m unfamiliar with. The last time it happened, and it took some time to find gainful employment, God wanted me to complete an assignment. He withheld employment from me until I did (and yes, I was obedient once He spoke clearly – then mere days after I finished, I landed a great job).
In moments of weakness, being human, I find myself wondering why this happens. I also have thoughts wondering why finances seem to be the place I’m most often attacked, when others (Christians) seem to constantly flourish with little effort and examples of people in my own life come to mind. I do not intend to covet what they have, but that’s exactly it. It’s not that I envy my friends – I simply don’t understand how God picks and chooses what he allows.
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor’s.” (Exodus 20:17)
“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have . For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?'” (Hebrews 13:5-6 NKJV)
This morning as I was walking about the kitchen – in prayer over a financial need – this same thought came to mind. And as quickly as it entered, the Holy Spirit answered, and goodness was I repentant after what was revealed. I was reminded how several of my dear sister’s in Christ whom, although they have material wealth, instead endure the loss of something I will never: the loss of a child, in one case two children.
I was in tears as He spoke. We are not to covet because we all suffer in life. I am not at all materialistic, however, God knows that throughout my life (from childhood into adulthood) I have not always had my needs met, so a loss and suffering for me, is most often financial. My deep-rooted need is to feel secure in this area; historically, I would work two or three jobs to make ends meet. Unfortunately, the job I had wasn’t providing abundantly; there were weeks I was stretching out $8. I was seeking outside employment to help myself get ahead, but it wasn’t coming.
God was speaking to me through this, reminding me that HE is all I need and He is my provision. The Lord is my portion and cup. (Psalm 16:5…oh, if only I could share the irony of that entire verse in this situation with you…ha!) Yet, he was also leading me to repent for the generational iniquity that has led to my deep-rooted fear of lack. It’s one He has continually done a great work within over the past 8 years. I have learned to let go of “stuff” with joy. But, as anyone else, I want to keep a roof over my head (it’s great to have a warm and safe place to live when it’s zero degrees outside).
This week, I was boldly approaching the throne of my most merciful Father in heaven, rebuking and breaking off the chains of bondage passed down through the generations of my family. This particular verse in Hebrews (4:16) has emboldened me so many times over the years, because it is a promise from God that I take seriously: “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace, to help us in time of need.” I can attest that God will always meet our needs, even if his response doesn’t appear as we anticipate.
On that Saturday morning the LORD may not have plopped a new job into my lap, instead He answered other prayers – prayers for things of more importance to me, and Him, than financial gain: Words!
Sadly, I’ve been completely locked up from writing for months. To me the wellspring of words opening back up proves that the LORD has broken off a spirit of oppression that once again had a grip on me. He is always faithfully working on my (and your) behalf, behind the scenes. (See previous post). It proves conversation such as the one we (God and I) had this morning are His way of answering prayers as well.
I have confessed my sin (fear & coveting) before the LORD, yet have been unafraid still to approach His throne; for in this relationship I have confidence that my Father has compassion for me. It is because of my boldness in seeking His face, I will obtain mercy and grace to help in my time of need. Also, it is never necessary to covet what others have, because despite any situation, I find all I need – most importantly His deep peace, joy and love – residing within me. For all of which I praise thee LORD, forever, amen!
“Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through to heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace, to help us in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:14-16)