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Grieving for Her Eyes and Smile

My feet take a walk without me

Honoring her, walking on sacred ground

I do not know where they will lead, I only know where they’ve been

The tears roll endlessly down

Tracking memories, all the days spent…

Please Lord never let me forget those days under the sun

Never allow these memories to fade from mind

Those love filled days by her side

 

My toes touch the dew

But I realize it’s only a dream, or a nightmare,

Depending on how you view it

Regardless that was my place, my personal slice of heaven

In her smile, the joy in her eyes

The one place I could always count on 

 

What will I do now, without you 

You were always there, always my soft place 

To whom will I turn now on earth

Prayers and dreams shared in safety

Always receiving kindness, from her heart to mine 

My only comfort comes now from knowing you are fine

 

My heart – cracked – deep inside 

And even though I try not, tonight I cry 

Finding myself unable to think beyond it all

Knowing I have to allow it, admit it, relieve it

and grieve for her eyes and smile

 

I love and miss you Grandma…always and forever in my heart. I loved you more than anyone could fathom. You were more to me than I could ever tell you (I tried)…I am so grateful for the woman you were; for the woman you helped me become simply by your beautiful and constant example of love, grace and strength.  I truly do not know what I will do without your ever loving presence.   

 

4 thoughts on “Grieving for Her Eyes and Smile”

  1. What a beautiful tribute to your grandmother. I could feel the ache behind your words. I’m going to guess that you can still imagine what she would say if you were to have conversations with her. That you can still hear the wisdom she would impart to you. Great post.

    1. Thank you, Anne. Well, yes, as she just passed away last week; therefore, our last conversation just a couple weeks prior is still fresh in my mind. 🙂 She’s in a better place and no longer suffering so that brings me comfort. God bless you!

  2. “In her smile – the joy in her eyes – the one place I could always count on….” that you now grieve the places that once gave you sanctity and peace makes me feel this writing so. I am not sure where you had to dig inside of your soul to get this kind of material; sharing and baring your heart, but these are some epic, amazing words.

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