October 27, 2012: God had a plan for this very moment in time…
A plan of healing for me in an area of my life I wasn’t cognizant of. He used the first verse of a song Amy Grant had written for someone in particular, to reach into my heart and open a floodgate. Some of my amazing sisters in Christ were there and tried to console me through uncontrollable tears and I thank you, but my Lord was with me…
It took weeks afterward for God’s answer to come as I would find myself breaking into tears for no reason, anywhere God decided: in the car, at work, in the shower. Finally, one day as I was driving and the rain shower began, for probably the third time, I asked Him why I was crying all the time. It was so unlike me…
His answer came loud, clear and was unexpected: You have never mourned the loss of your childhood, the loss of your innocence…all of these tears have been cleansing your heart of the hardness that took root, the pain that resides and have freed you.
There were no words with which I could return in response but ‘thank you’ and a sort of pondering laugh…then I proceeded home to sit alone with Him to dig deeper. But I praise Him: yesterday, today, and tomorrow for how He gently works behind the scenes of our lives: to bring us to a place of peace, of understanding. Of JOY!!
No amount of time or self-analysis could have healed what and how Jesus Christ did in a matter of weeks. He truly is the savior and sanctifier of my heart. There is NONE like You, Jesus!
It also just hit me the correlation of the dates because today and apparently that date is the anniversary of my Rebirth day! Six years ago today I recommitted my life to Christ – without hesitation! It was also my grandfather’s birthday – I miss him so much!
So thank you God for reminding me that there is always reason to celebrate life in you!
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.