“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. For six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of the Lord your God; on it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male slave or your female slave, or your cattle, or your resident who stays with you. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and everything that is in them, and He rested on the seventh day; for that reason the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” (Exodus 20:8-11 NASB)
It has been some time since I gave a personal update. My heart is not to share unless Adonai leads me to do so. I guess after 12 years of being transparent I’ve shown my willingness to allow Him access to every part of me, to reach the hearts of people who may need encouragement in the personal areas many often feel alone in, even if they know Him. Sharing all I’d endured throughout 2023 was not easy; there were things I wished to remain between He and me, yet, it was made public. I can say how grateful I am now, that Adonai led me to understand, years in advance, what was missing from my walk. How my eyes were opened in 2019 to the fullness of The Word to see things like His sabbath rest, and all it means. Without learning the importance of such rest, I may not have come through this season of struggle so well. Even my pets have learned to accept that rest – one day a week – and have become my slumber bugs during Shabbat rest.
Today, I was bone tired! My body and mind shouted HURRAY for Shabbat, let us rest. And, we did. I have come to greatly value the ability to find deep rest as Yahweh found rest after working to create the earth and its splendor. It had been a while, however, since I had taken a long nap as He kept me up while pouring out through me. I cherish such moments between Abba and me.
The personal side
So, what of me?
Praise Adonai, I am doing so much better on every level. The physical issues, except my left calf and foot, seem to be under control and that is all Him. No medication, no surgery. But even the left calf and foot have improved (I began having complete numbness and stiffness in that area last Spring.) I have been seeing a Chiropractor to try to move this along and in the past couple of weeks, I finally regained feeling other than tingling and stiffness! I was going twice weekly and am now at once a week. They have encouraged me to also see a massage therapist and I cannot wait to do so! I believe the right massage therapist can unlock what is trapped in there. Otherwise, everything other than allergies is good.
The grief over all the personal losses of family, mobility, etc., have all subsided. I do have occasional healthy waves of grief and it helps me to feel “normal” since I seem to deal with emotions, death, et al differently than a lot of people. Any string of big losses hitting anyone is hard but pairing it with the loss of mobility and ability to care for themself is enough to make a person go mad. And, I guess I was angry for a while. Again, that is normal so I have made peace there.
I was having other issues with my vision (turned out to be a bad contact lens prescription and I don’t even need reading glasses any longer) and being a woman of a certain age. Folks, premenopause is no joke! I’ll leave it at that. Thankfully, I have taken a lot of time since my 20s to learn my body’s language; I figured out what natural remedies to take that may calm my body down and over the past 2 months things have settled and I’m feeling less crazy and hot! I 100% came to realize that this stage is also zapping my mental and physical energy so have been a lot more gentle with myself in those areas, allowing rest instead of pushing myself hard as I always have. I also handle stress less well than I used to but that has been years in the making after having some post-traumatic stress and still healing from that.
Work does not help in this area but I do have the ability to take a day off once in a while and not be made to feel guilty for it (they encourage us to take paid time off when we need it). I cannot state what a blessing this is! I also have the option to work from home on days I don’t feel well. I did so one day this week because I’d had an episode of severe spasms and cramps in both legs one night and I couldn’t sleep, then felt horrible in the morning – so I went into the office, got my laptop, and worked from home most of the day. I couldn’t afford to take the day off because of some deadlines but at least I could do so without being around people all day. My boss does not stress me out whatsoever (a first) and my co-workers are pretty great; we truly function as a team which is amazing to have. I still have my farm client and love that work, as it helps to fulfill my creative side.
All work and no play
I do not have a lot of time to work on personal creative projects at the moment, however, I am working on something very close to my heart. Here Am I! Photography by S. Louiso presently has a small space on this website that I intend to grow (separate galleries, selling prints, etc.) but it will be a slow project as I have to learn more about it. Many people over the years have encouraged me to share my photography. I have used it on the blog and shared some with my small social media circle, so taking this step is a rather big “release” of privacy for me. I do value feedback and encouragement, and when I’m ready, would love your help in promoting it. I am not sure what Abba’s end goal is but I’m not looking to take it commercial; perhaps one day have things like calendars and flip books for sale.
I did have a surge of adventure late last night and spontaneously got in my SUV and drove about an hour north of any city lights to try to see the Northern Lights. It didn’t happen but it was fun to simply go for a drive and smell the fragrant and clean mountain air! It has been a long time since I felt I could do this, so I believe He is slowly bringing me back to life. Hallelujah!
Love thy neighbor
If you are a long-time reader, you might recall how Abba has used me in the lives of my neighbors. I am thrilled to share that the man across the street with deep addiction and anger issues put himself into rehab over a month ago and is still there. I was floored when I found out; I am so happy for him! My prayer now is that it will be life-changing and lifelong for him.
My next-door neighbor is, sadly, the same. I took him food last night. A couple of days earlier he was outside, in noticeable pain, yet wouldn’t do anything about it. While I sympathize with him, I am not entertaining the spirit of self-pity that exists because he had a bad surgery, and chooses to numb himself with alcohol. I get why but I’m not participating with that spirit. I pray for him and I help him out in ways I believe are pleasing to Abba, who, like me, wants him to find faith and peace in Him. I hope when the aforementioned neighbor comes home from rehab he can influence this man.
I am not sure what’s happening with the homeless and downtrodden who were a constant presence in this neighborhood for the first six months of my residence but I rarely see any, even with the warming weather. If they are here, it is very temporary. The homeless population in my little town still exists but I know many didn’t make it through the freezing winter and many have died from overdoses. It is heartbreaking!
Thank you!
In my little backyard exists a flurry of activity between the birds, squirrels, and things blooming. The grapevine is starting to produce fruit and to my joy, it looks as though I’ll have a
bumper crop of cherries this year (I need to research if these trees produce edible fruit). Despite my allergies, I’ve taken time to literally go sit in the yard and photograph the wildflowers: wild violets, dandelions, and now the buttercups and clover are all the rage. It is my little slice of heaven. I am hoping to have the energy one day soon to get out to the mountains and take tons of photos, do a little light hiking, and just be lost in the glory of His creation!
Friends, I am so grateful for your readership and presence in this journey I am on. For any who pray for me, or come alongside those I pray for – thank you from the bottom of my heart.
May you also find His rest: mind, body, and spirit!
Shalom and blessings,
Stacey