Previously, I shared about it being the fifth anniversary of Adonai relocating me to East Tennessee, and what I’ve come to understand about this time of transition.
Everything is a lesson. There is nothing that The LORD will not use from our lives to both teach us or use as a witness to others on His goodness if we give him access. The reason for the title “relearning how to be a captive set free” comes from the fact that He is always working to break off more and more of my past to sanctify and move me further into freedom. Just because we’re loosed from one set of bondage, by no means are we complete works. Nope. He wants to release us from it all. Therefore, we often need to relearn how to be freed from anything new we’ve internalized.
Allowing boundaries set to stick
Four years before moving to Tennessee, The Father began teaching me how to form healthy boundaries with the people in my life; His purpose was to slowly prepare me for the death of my mother and the relationship with her and my sister, both of whom I had more responsibility for than a normal relationship. (In my sister’s case, I’d taken on more of a motherly role in her infancy because she needed to be protected from our home environment.) Allowing boundaries I set to stick, came with what felt like abuse from them as well; however, I knew it was the darkness in their lives. I stopped being “nice” about things which made a huge difference in my life, spiritually and emotionally.
He held me back from traveling to rescue my mom in the last month of her life. She was subtly trying to manipulate me into putting her needs before my own and that was Yahweh protecting me and keeping me from getting in His way. Trust me, it was the most horrible feeling you can imagine. I presented her with options but He prevented me from physically going to her side. He was preparing, protecting, and doing what was best for me.
Lessons Learned: Having strong boundaries in place helped me to detach from feeling responsible for their mistakes and allowed them to solve their problems. Learning boundaries has helped me heal from past bad relationship decisions and become stronger in the new relationships I’ve formed.
Why did God prepare me? Because I serve an awesome and loving God who wants the best – HIS BEST – for those who call upon His name as Father, Savior, and King!
How did He prepare me? By protecting me from more harm than I needed to experience, regardless of what direction it comes from.
What is His best for me?
Firstly, he keeps me beneath the shadow of His wings, even if I don’t like how it looks. The Father knows best!
Secondly, His provision. For the past five years, this resembled a perceived wilderness; one where El Shaddai has provided above and beyond what I needed, to prepare the way as He moved me through different seasons and phases of my life and walk with Him.
Thirdly, and over the entire course of my life in submission to Adonai, to allow deep lasting healing. Then, more (and more) healing. This is what “transitioning” references: spiritual upheaval then renewal.
In the year and two months since Adaonai removed from my hands these two painful relationships I’d held onto – while keeping me “still” through this thorn in my life (the back injury I’ve previously mentioned) – He ripped my heart out and showed me the damage I needed to be aware of. He then helped me to slowly mend the pin-holes and deep knife wounds while “creating in me a clean heart, and renewing a right spirit within me.”
Hallelujah!