“And I will set my face against them; they shall go out from one fire, and another fire shall devour them; and ye shall know that I am the LORD, when I set my face against them.” (Ezekiel 15:7, Holy Bible, KJV)
The presence of God in my life, over the past two months, has resembled this verse of scripture. God was finally done with my direct lies. He was tired of my saying, “Yeah, yeah…i’ll finish writing that book for you…next week. Just give me one free week…” Well, he gave me that and then some! The “then some”, is the harder part of this lesson in what continual disobedience – to the Lord, to our Father, to the Holy Spirit – resembles.
The trials began with the death of my grandparents and fanned out into my finances, in a way that was very, very uncomfortable. This, my friends, is not how the Lord wants to remind us but how he absolutely will if he deems it necessary, to get us on track with His plan. He will skewer us over a fire…a slow roasting fire…until we finally submit to His will and desire. He will baptize us by the Holy Spirit and fire, as long as he needs to, in order to refine us and skim off the dross.
He fights fire with fire!
“John answered and said to them all, “As for me, I baptize you with water; but One is coming who is mightier than I, and I am not fit to untie the thong of His sandals; He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.” (Luke 3:16)
God decided that he’d had enough of my petty excuses for not finishing the work set before me. I started writing this book at least 3 years ago. I would get busy and not touch it for long stretches. Honestly, it just stirred up old wounds and put me in a dark place…however, this is the mind-set the Lord needed me to be in, in order to connect to part of the story. I also came up with several, viable, excuses not to keep on a forward trajectory. He took care of them both, somewhat to my chagrin. (No, I’m not telling you what they were. I’ve alluded to them in the past.)
With nothing left to lose…he began to chastise me. I was already way down and that’s where he wanted me: under His thumb! He wasn’t exactly nice or gentle about it…If i’ve never felt a true fear of God, I certainly do now! I never want to experience that brand of wrath, again…
He told me once I did what I was born to do…once I let Him fully use my life for His glory…he would begin to bless me again; but, until then, all doors were closed. Being a good daughter is important to me…I have a deep love and reverence for my Abba Father and my Lord. That I had disappointed them to this level, I could not handle. Hence, I took the “free time” he’d “blessed” me with and simply trusted the story to flow through my fingers. The Holy Spirit works through us in amazing, beautiful ways when we allow it! I was not in control…that is just how He uses me. Within two weeks the book was finished! I was flabbergasted although I don’t know why…He’s just good like that! Amen?!
The moral of the story is this: Just do it! haha No, no…If you are wrestling with God…don’t! God’s going to win, every single time…no matter what He has to do, or take away from you, in order to keep you on the trajectory he ordained from the moment you were conceived. Don’t be like me…it’s not worth the pain and suffering, the struggle and turmoil. Be His vessel without apprehension.
BTW, the Lord did keep his word…within a short period of time (he let me struggle in discomfort for a while just to be sure I “got it”)…he did restore peace in my life!