Even though the act was not my own, I was still in sin. Indirectly, when someone brings sin into our lives (when they are in the act) we are participating right along with them. Not many people understand or have knowledge of this fact; if someone is sinning against you, it is in your life therefore you are also in sin, right along with that person. If you are forgiving their sin and allowing them to continue in your life while in sin, you are condoning it, therefore in sin.
I’ve had to recognize, renounce and repent of indirect sin many a time, as recently as two week ago. This incident brought on by a person in my life who was continually asking me to renounce how God was working in my life; being deceitful, double-minded and bringing chaos into my life (I can only imagine what they endure and I truly feel for them). It is not that I was condoning the behavior, it is that I wasn’t recognizing it was false. We were both being deceived–the person in sin, by the enemy, and me, by that person. I had forgiven this several times in the past, been led to forgive…but eventually the Lord had shown me it was okay to walk away if it continued.
I cannot control the thoughts, actions or words of another, but I can control how much of it I allow in my life. In this last instance, the person went too far and the Lord allowed me to see exactly where they are, spiritually, which is nowhere near where they claim, or believe they are. Fools rush in…the wise proceed with caution, and that is what I had been led to do, take precaution. I was being led by the Lord in every turn of this relationship, right down to the breaking act. This I have reassurance on…
In the moments and days following what occurred with this person, I knew I had to take responsibility for my participation in said relationship, and the active sin. I sat in solitude with my Father and His Son, pouring my heart out in repentance. I asked for forgiveness…what I received in return were blessings. Many, many blessings. Peace, joy, love, grace…and much mercy upon my oh so tender heart!
In the two weeks since this incident, there have been trials and triumphs. I have received the kind of blessings and rewards for my obedience and submission I had only read or heard others speak of. I have been seriously flabbergasted by the acts of lovingkindness shown to me by God. A spirit of oppression has been lifted from my “house” in the past week. Last night, where the Spirit led me in the Word, after seeking his grace in my exhausted state was the most important confirmation I could have received after confessing my participation of, and asking forgiveness of our Lord. Here is where I was led:
1 John 1:8-10, 1 John 2:12
“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us…I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name’s sake.”
I believe the final release of both the spirit of oppression that has hung over me, as it manifested from this other person’s life into my own and a healing release of all the sin brought into my life, occurred today. In the midst of our traditional Sunday church service, where I sing in the choir, I was brought to tears that I could not control. Tears so tender I was forced into my seat for the remainder of the service. I couldn’t even speak when the sister next to me lovingly put her arm about me and asked if there was anything she could do. The entire time I was seeking Him, asking Him what this was.
His response: Love. Truth. Strength. Freedom. Grace.
The irony of this…I hadn’t heard from (nor had I desired or expected to) the person whom had sinned against me since the time of the final incident. I walked into the choir room to gather my things after all of this transpired and thought to check my mobile phone for messages. There I found a message from said person, which came in at about the exact same moment I was overcome with tears. How the Lord works is very mysterious!
I placed my mobile phone back into my purse, then sat in prayer. Having no intention of responding, I scoffed away the bit of emotion I felt over the message, and went on with my day. If at any point the Lord directs me to respond, I will obey, but for the moment I am led to silence. I sensed this was a test of obedience, as well as a test of the enemy over free will, at once. Regardless, there is nothing to be said by either of us that will change the damage done. Quite simply, I am finished being hurt and oppressed. What God does in my life, in this person’s life – in our lives – in the future, is up to Him.
For now, I am told to leave them alone for Him to contend with. I feel no contention toward this person; I love them with God’s love…forgive them 70×7 as I am directed (Matthew 18:21-22)…for God has filled the void left in my heart with his agape love and that is all I seek: His love, approval and the abundant life offered through true salvation, by way of Jesus Christ.
“And now, little children, abide in him; that, when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him at his coming.” (1 John 2:28)
“And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.” (1 John 3:3)
Dear Abba Father, tonight it is all I can do but give thanks to you! It is not enough but it’s all I can do…I humble myself before you, awestruck by your grace and mercy; your lovingkindness overflowing the river bank in waves. The freedom offered by the sacrificial lamb, if chosen, is undeniable…there is none like You…NONE! Today you showed me once again how much you love and favor the sacrifices of my heart to you. I praise you Lord, I worship you Father…on my knees, face to the floor, I go before the throne to give thanks! In the name of the only ONE worthy of your favor, Jesus, I pray, amen!