The death last year of both the patriarch and matriarch of our tiny, female laden family, has left a terrible void. How ever my grandparents thought we might get along after their deaths, is probably about how it’s transpiring. For the most part, there was always division between two or more of us. I have been praying for healing in our family since 2010; I thought that at my grandfather’s funeral last year it was finally underway…
Even if that was God’s intention on that day as I rode to the funeral home with one particular family member, whom I hadn’t spoken to, or really communicated with, in a couple of years…the process quickly came to a halt when my grandmother passed abruptly just weeks later. Any and all healing that began in that car ride, was impeded by their complete disrespect for our entire family that day. It seemed as though they had a plan in motion before my grandmother even passed, and the rest of us weren’t part of it.
Ours is a truly dysfunctional family. I inherited them. I love them even when it is truly difficult. Even the one I can’t have a relationship with at this time, I love. To be frank I simply am not to tango with the vile spirit that has possessed their soul. Quite simply, God has kept me under the shadow of his wing with this relationship for many, many years. God, in answering my questions and prayers, has shown He doesn’t want me being exposed to this, therefore I love and pray from a distance. The battle is His and his alone for the time being…
What the Lord revealed to me one night after my grandfather died was something I had been curious about for years: why there was always a struggle in our family to get along well with one another. There exists spirits of pride, jealousy, envy, bitterness and anger. The Holy Spirit helped me understand the strong anti-Christ spirit in my grandparents home and God instructed me to break it off and pray a specific prayer the night all this occurred. Cause and effect: an anti-Christ spirit dampens love and encourages strife.
This reminds me of King David and his dysfunctional family; how his sin bred iniquity. David’s son, Amnon raped his half-sister (David’s daughter), Tamar. David knew and did nothing. But Tamar’s brother, Absalom, took matters into his own hands…he was bitter toward David for his inaction and his hatred for Amnon for Tamar, caused Absalom to murder him; he then fled the kingdom fearing his father. Then, years later, after David was kind enough to allow Absalom back into the kingdom despite himself, he plotted to kill his father, the King. David, who was created to be a warrior, fled instead of putting Absalom in his place. Talk about DRAMA! (You can find this story starting in 2 Samuel 11 in the Old Testament of the Holy Bible.)
What the Holy Spirit revealed to me recently, after some difficult decisions that had to be made among us, was that my grandparent’s never showed us how to be unified. They did not step up and make us act like a family. They allowed division early on of the family unit; hence opening a door-point and division reigns still. What is most unfortunate is that after how my grandparents passed away so close in time, and another tragedy happened in between, we really needed one another. Now we are divided in another manner that has isolated the person I spoke of earlier.
(He is also moving in another family member’s life that has them suddenly isolated and this I know is because he is trying to draw her into His arms. They both require complete brokenness in order to turn their lives around.)
However, I have complete faith God will use this situation to reconstruct what is left of our little family of four women, all unmarried. We are an “unmanned” family, save Jesus, to protect and lead us; right now, I’m the only one in a relationship with him!
What I know for certain is that I am stepping UP in Faith. Not only am I giving the situation at hand to God and trusting Him to turn all things around for our and His good, I am also moving in a direction that my faith in Him is directing, as I work through the present situation – both understanding and seeing how His hand has orchestrated all things.