“And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.” (1 Chronicles 4:10 NKJV)
I’ve sensed deep within that God was moving me in an unexpected yet desired direction in life. He has shown me glimpses of what was to come while preparing me – heart, mind and spirit – for this time. Through Jabez-like prayers for Him to simply get me through all I’ve stared at, He has unlocked deep seeded things that needed refined by fire before the next chapter of this adventure with Him began. All of this preparation has grown me consistently and monumentally in my relationship with Him. Through such growth I have come to understand what a posture of worship resembles and often find myself humbled to the floor, kneeling in my tears, before the throne.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV)
This verse has been etched in stone and hidden in the depths of my heart. It is the vein through which my blood now flows. Trusting the Lord Jesus with ALL my heart, with my entire being even through my own moments of fleshly doubt, which He steadfastly walks me through. To proclaim my gratitude is no longer enough – I simply lay at His feet in awe and in worship of my Lord and Savior. Quite frankly, that is exactly where He desires us to be.
God wants us to worship him. Period.
“But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.” (John 4:23)
How I “do” church has definitely changed in just the past 6 months. I find myself on my knees more often than not, in pure worship; even as Spirit led and meaty as my pastor’s sermons have been, I find myself still in worship during them. In fact, I enter the throne room so much easier now as opposed to a year ago. I attribute this to the barrage of trials that He has walked me through.
I’ve grown used to being completely dumbfounded by the way Jesus works through and uses me in order to build up His kingdom. I will never understand why God entrusts me with His people, I am so unworthy of such assignments; thus why I know it is Jesus in me and hope I never lose sight of this fact.
After fervent prayer, much fasting, and simply trusting in Jesus Christ, I literally went from famine to feast financially, but only because HE had a purpose for both ends of the spectrum, for which I am eternally grateful. He was preparing me spiritually for what is to come. It is time for my calling in ministry to be fulfilled, and unexpectedly with a partner. He has shown himself in some strange yet humorous ways as well.
“And thus are the secrets of his heart made manifest; and so falling down on his face he will worship God, and report that God is in you in truth.” (1 Corinthians 14:25)
It has been growth. It has meant perseverance. He has moved my heart in ways I never saw coming and made me into someone more generous than I fathomed I could be.
All of this is only possible in and through my Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus!
And for this, I worship His Holy name like never before…and I pray He just keeps moving me forward, toward Glory! He has brought me to a place of worship where I can’t be still. I can’t be quiet. I can’t not show the JOY of the LORD in song and dance at once. Where tears don’t escape my eyes out of love, and my face and arms are not turned up seeking His light. It is in a stance of complete awe of Him at home, church, in the car…any and everywhere, in which I stand.
He has walked me through a year of endless stress to humble yet strengthen me in preparation of a deeper service. All the while, providing for me abundantly more than I could have imagined, only to finally move me back to where my life began, which has been my hearts desire for so long. One day this past February, a year after receiving the initial message from Him, the door flung open and God spoke into my heart that it was time to start the process. (Last Fall He had instructed I begin to save up as much money as possible in preparation.)
How could you not want to worship a God of such love, preparation and instruction? Adonai!
I cannot help myself…
“That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth…” (Philippians 2:10)