July 21, 2017
Many times we have intentions for the best laid plans, then life happens. These things, in turn, resemble life, interrupted. For the best laid plans are the plans of The Almighty God, even when he moves you at the very last moment in order to serve Him and others. God’s best laid plans have definitely taken over my life more times than I can recall, over the course of the past year. Even just this morning. As I was preparing to leave home this morning, the Lord imparted on my heart that “someone” was more important than “something.” He then led me to reschedule a job interview as a copywriter/editor…with a global corporation! Then, because God directed my steps, what He wanted prevailed and all worked out to His glory.
“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)
The “someone” was my sister. God brought her to my home last night. She wasn’t supposed to be here but she came anyway, pets in tow. You see today was her last to walk freely upon this earth for at least the next 30 days. I’ve shared her struggles and the poor choices she made over the past year; every bad decision and the consequences of addiction caught up with her. I actually believe God has finally brought her to a place similar to where I once was, a place where nothing I did on my own (apart from Jesus) in life worked. Nothing I did apart from Jesus propelled me forward. I was in a prison of my own accord, staring through the bars…the voices in my head screaming “no more!”
I pray that my sister truly has come to the end of herself. I was blessed with the opportunity to pray over her, including sharing God’s desire to truly build a relationship with her, and His desire to do a great work in her heart during this time of incarceration. I poured out God’s love, grace and mercy over my baby sister before she tearfully (and fearfully) drove off to turn herself in on this hot, humid Friday in July.
“Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life. You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes; with your right hand you save me.” (Psalm 138:7)
A heaviness as thick as the humidity outside has hung upon me this past week. I’ve been drenched in the sweat of one whose pounding heart has swelled with anguish over the life and future of a beloved. I was not intentionally suppressing emotion. It took seeking the Lord on why I was experiencing such heaviness to even gain knowledge on its origins. Then the floodgate of my heart opened and deep heartbreak over this life gone terribly awry began to escape the flood wall, infiltrating my thoughts. I refused to go down in the miry clay and refused to participate in whatever depressed state the enemy may be contriving for me!
She came and went…then, peace!
God directed me to stay home from the interview, with one hour to spare, for this family emergency; this so I could complete the work he’d anointed me to handle with my sister.
“The Spirit of the Lord [is] upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised…” (Luke 4:18)
It blessed me immensely to have my sister here overnight. As always, I took the opportunity to watch her sleep. I’ve enjoyed such moments since she was a child (she is 11 years, 363 days my junior) and I usually end up silently giggling at the expressions on her pretty face. It always surprises me how peacefully she sleeps while here; a miracle in itself, because she suffers with crippling insomnia! But the true course was to press into my sister that she is going to be okay, better than okay once she walks through this. To bless the Lord, to give glory to God for once again getting her in a vulnerable enough state to receive the prayers lovingly spoken over her, as she wept in my arms. I wonder if she will ever, ever understand not only the depth of my love for her but also His.
My sister visited my home, I believe, for God to allow her one night of feeling safe and loved. Although, her only intent was to leave in my care her most prized possessions: an ornery kitty and the sweetest pup. Even this detail was God’s will. Why? It means she trusts me again, at least enough to take care of her “babies” as though they are my own. I see them (all) as God’s and I am very careful with His possessions!