Part 4: What Lies Within
The night after the incident with my husband, I attended a time for worship and prayer, hosted by a local ministry, where volunteer prayer warriors walk around the room, praying over, and sometimes with, those in attendance. It was a much-needed reprieve from everything going on in my life; a time to sit quietly, reflect, release, and meditate in the presence of God. A couple of the volunteers spent a good amount of time at my chair offering prayers of deliverance and healing, for only God knows what actually lies within.
It shouldn’t have surprised me when a few nights later, I awoke from a deep sleep, around 2 A.M., and sat up abruptly on the bedside. I recognized that the Lord was speaking to me, yet could not – at that moment – audibly hear His voice. I was nodding my head, then, seconds later a tight pressure that had gripped my hips for a year or so, was instantly relieved: I felt it unravel and leave my body. Immediately after, a vision of a coiled serpent appeared before me. Again, I nodded as though someone was whispering into my ear.
Someone was…and He revealed the meaning of the serpent. He explained how the prayers over me to be delivered of any ungodly spirits that had bound themselves to me, due to the circumstances of my marriage, was answered and being cast out, in Jesus’ name. The Lord explained that since I had finally stood up to my adversary (not my husband, Satan), he no longer had permission to wreak havoc in my life. (Note: The spirit was not controlling me, rather trying to manipulate me and my life. Because I have absolutely and whole heartedly accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior, it had no authority over me).
“Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.” (James 2:19)
“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)
Around 4 A.M. I awoke again. This time it was to my body doing something I couldn’t immediately discern in my sleepy state. As I slowly gained consciousness, I realized I was heaving as though about to vomit. I ran to the bathroom and took position but nothing came out of me. Was it a false alarm? I certainly did not feel well; I thought perhaps it was the sushi I’d had for dinner. Then I realized it was another manifestation – something was being cast from my spirit. Thankfully, after returning to bed I was able to return to slumber quickly.
As my alarm sang out an hour and a half later, I recalled the events which occurred in the night. I felt completely at peace and I recalled the vision of the serpent and loosening sensation from my hips. This was still the case (and I have stayed free since) and was very grateful so I shot up a prayer to God, stating as such. It was as though the area where I had been bound was literally unwound. This had been very uncomfortable, even cumbersome at times.
“Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you.” (Luke 10:19)
Later that day, while at work, I began having spasms in my back and what felt like heart attack-like symptoms. Not knowing what to do other than pray, that is what I did. I prayed for God to take control of my body and health. I cast out any spirits of infirmity. I prayed for wisdom and knowledge as to why this was happening. This issue went on for about 24 hours. I didn’t tell anyone as not to sound any alarms; I simply waited it out. Eventually, God revealed what I had experienced was a release of stress: mental, emotional and physical, and he was getting my body back into a peaceful state. Well, great, I thought, but did you have to scare me in the process? Luckily, while this was happening I stayed as still in Him as possible as not to further aggravate whatever was happening inside me!
“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10)
One thing that I still seem to struggle with is the sheer mental and emotional exhaustion from everything that has transpired this entire year, to date. From January until now it has just been one thing to deal with after another. My emotions have scaled both the major and minor key clefs as I tried to hold dearly to my sanity. Also, I hate not having my emotions in check, however, I have also decided it is okay to feel everything I needed to feel (while simultaneously seeking the Lord as I’m discovering how or what I am experiencing) in order to deal with it in a healthy manner, and truly allow the healing to transpire. Thus enabling me to move on, truthfully and fully, in life, while not letting my emotions control me.
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” (Proverbs 25:28)