Hugging the Steering Wheel of Life

What I am about to share may prove what a sentimental sap I can be, or that I’m just in a weird place:

I’ve known for a while it was time to trade in my SUV for a newer mode of transportation. This 2000 Chevy Blazer was quite literally my sidekick in life since mid-2003. This SUV helped move me from north to south (twice), as well as east to west and back again. It has gone on numerous road trips, been privy to my private thoughts, prayers, successes and disasters. The vehicle served me well and was a sturdy, trustworthy source of transportation, enabling me to keep hugging the steering wheel of life.

blazer

I love this SUV. If I could have justified the needed repairs (vast and expensive) and the fact there are over 203,000 miles on the odometer, I would have kept it for as long as it would be kept. Despite all of its faults, it still runs well – in fact it went on another road trip back in the summer without missing a beat. I also enjoy not having a car payment, with the knowledge that anything out there now, that will give me the same life as this vehicle, is an expensive investment.

But, the time came where I realized that if I didn’t take the plunge now, I might end up with a dead SUV on my hands in the coming winter weather (and I’d be freezing because the air compressor stopped producing heat). Truth be told, this vehicle is probably only still running on a wing and a prayer. I’ve prayed over and laid hands on this SUV, and requested God to fix and keep her going, for several years now. I’m not kidding when I tell you how greatly God has come through. Things gone awry have either humorously or miraculously been fixed!

God wants to bless me, this I know. He also wants me to be safe. Until recently I felt safe in this vehicle. However, in recent weeks, as I would drive the long, winding hills and valleys that surround Cincinnati, especially in rain, something just wasn’t right. I am a very capable and aware driver; I know every noise and bump this vehicle has and why. The fact it was no longer handling curves well (making me feel unsafe and stressed when driving), even on dry pavement, I believe was God’s way of telling me it was time to retire this old girl.

For me, this had been a tough decision. The Lord showed me that this is the last remnant of my old life. There is, inside the vehicle, a constant reminder of what I just walked through and out of. It is a remnant of unspeakable things I did in a past life, before Christ, in this car. All now faded memories of a person who no longer exists thanks to God’s loving redeeming grace upon my life.

Then it began…the letting go. After confirmation of the repairs and knowing the cost outweighed what might be the remaining life of the vehicle, I prayed for the Lord to go before me, reveal the perfect next vehicle to me, arrange for seamless financing and the ability to let go. He did just this. However, the letting my old girl go part, took even me by surprise.

I was leaving the car lot to go and finally eat a meal that fated day; as I slipped behind the wheel, my emotions overcame me. I wrapped my arms around the steering wheel, leaned my head into it and amidst my sobs told her I was sorry. The sobs were very real and so was how sad I felt to be handing over the keys to my beloved road warrior!

Even after driving home in the make and model of SUV I’d envisioned purchasing since early summer (God does want us to have our heart’s desire!), I awoke in the middle of the night thinking of my Blazer, weeping again over yet another hole in my heart. Goodness, I’d lived a lot of life in that vehicle!

I know that this new vehicle will be such a blessing – in fact, I feel much safer already, so that is certainly stress off of my shoulders! I trust that my Abba Father will continually provide abundantly more than I ever expect, and the “new” SUV will serve me, and His purpose, well, for many years to come.

Oh, and if an SUV can be considered beautiful, it certainly is with a hue the color of heaven and of all things, a “silver lining”!

Praise God from whom all blessing flow…Praise God. Praise God.

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