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Down but Never Out: Keeping my Eyes Fixed on God – Part 1

It has been way too long since I sat down to write a blog post here. It isn’t for lack of desire, rather lack of time and mental capacity. Inability to get out onto a page what has been hidden in my head and heart. The only thing I want to portray is how blessed I am – even though what I have endured over the past several months hasn’t often seemed or felt as such. Blessed, because it could have been worse. Blessed, for how tender God has been with me, knowing how hard it has been for me to be somewhat incapacitated. Blessed, by kind neighbors who, when I allowed myself to receive, came to assistance in needed ways. 

The simple truth: I’ve been under spiritual attack because of the release of Bound by Seduction, Redeemed by Grace. The enemy of this world hates when redeemed people share the glory of God with the world at large, so, honestly, it was expected. However, the way in which I was being attacked was not unexpected. 

The enemy has a strategy of attack

He watches us you know, the enemy. He knows where to attack us in attempt to make us less effective for the Lord. Oh, he tries to hold us back and push us down. Someone less resilient, less dependent upon God for all in life, may actually allow him to keep his foot on them. God, if you don’t know, allows the enemy room to push us around a bit too. In this instance, I surmised they were playing tug of war. God wanted me to keep moving forward with getting the book released and ministering to people in my community, and the enemy wanted exactly the opposite. But God seemed to allow me to keep receiving the same injury, over and over.  

I’m not kidding! The first time this injury popped up it came out of absolutely nowhere! It would heal, and almost immediately something would happen to reverse the healing (two running dogs weighing about 150 lbs barging into my leg at high velocity, falling into a  grass hidden hole outside). Talk about frustrating and, living alone, cumbersome. But God being God, he used it: He used it to draw me closer to a woman in my community he wanted me ministering to. (More on this in a future post.) He used it to put me in a position to depend solely on the Lord for my strength as I managed to get myself down a flight of steps, several times a day, to take the dog out; do laundry, or simply getting to my vehicle so I could run errands or go to church.  

Resting in Him

The worst part wasn’t even the injury, it was how my body reacted to the injury: pure exhaustion! Again, I had little choice but to depend upon the Lord Jesus for my strength. To be abased in Him and remain content. Just as Apostle Paul stated in his letter to the church at Philippi, “…I have learned in whatever state I am in, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have  learned to both be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  (Philippians 4: 11-13)

This season has certainly been trying to my adventurous, on the go, spirit! Thankfully, I can now recognize how I  grew in the way I believe the Lord desired through this. I definitely accepted the rest I needed in order to receive His physical and mental healing, get through each day of work and tending to my needs, while not allowing it to get me down. By praising and giving Him glory through it all. I also believe God was planting Heaven’s seeds while I was being covered with the shadow of His hand in this season of life. 

“…The LORD of hosts is His name. And I have put My words in your mouth; I have covered you with the shadow of My hand.

That I may plant the heavens, Lay the foundations of the earth. and say to Zion, ‘You are My people’.” (Isaiah 52:15-16)



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