(Written January 18, 2023)
I am laying this out to those of you who will understand, who can receive this word. Anyone else I pray you might ponder these words, and it incites you to draw closer to Adonai: For so many years, I walked completely drenched in the Spirit of Elohim. The Savior of my soul’s power was always near; so near I could touch and feel it. While I know HE is always with me, always guiding me, always within and within “reach”…it is not so often I feel those “arms” around me and I have asked so many times, just as I did tonight, what I do that could quench the Ruach HaKodesh/Holy Spirit. So I ask: Is the Holy Spirit alive within you?
I could once have an issue, pray and bring His healing into my own body. Now I wonder why such ability has left me…my faith is stronger than ever, Yahweh uses me as His vessel often, yet, there seems to be a “block.” He once used me often to lay hands on and pray over people, and they were healed. Now, it seems most don’t even want to ask or receive. They might be open to receiving prayer, but they do not receive healing and if a word from Him is spoken, they allow their own stuff to block it from entering their spirits and leading them out of bondage.
I wonder if…
~ It is that the world around me is SO stinking bad, and people Believe less…thus causing the Spirit to be quenched.
~ Is it that there is so much under-recognized UNBELIEF even in those who proclaim to be His, that they are blocking Him from working in their lives (I’ve “seen” this in people who do not see it in themselves).
I have a small trusted circle of those who walk intently in their gifts, and from conversations, I believe that what we are experiencing is a lot of what I describe. We must seek first the Kingdom of Yahweh/God and all HIS righteousness but more and more people in the Body of Messiah, do not seek righteousness, they seek themselves first. Or the “feel good” gospel. They refuse to repent and turn away from things that are not only sinful but refuse to admit what is keeping them in bondage is not righteous. Their identities are tied to something or someone OTHER than Yeshua/Jesus: family, mentors, books, knowledge, distractions that mean NOTHING to the Kingdom work we need to be doing, etc., etc., etc.
As for myself, I have a weakness and I am aware of it. In His gentle way, The Father has been helping me see this weakness clearer and clearer over time. To offer a glimpse for transparency’s sake: For most of my life, I didn’t know “kindness” could be a downfall; but I am here to tell you, it absolutely can be! Especially when it comes to setting healthy boundaries with people who have somehow hurt us in the past. So many of us have been conditioned from childhood to smile and accommodate people who’ve hurt us, expected to keep them in our midst. Yet, that is not healthy. If we learn nothing from YHWH’s interaction with the Israelites while in the wilderness, we MUST understand that those entire 40 years were a test of boundaries! (HINT: Most refused to adhere to the healthy boundaries He tried to put in place to save them from themselves!)
The sad reality is that too many parents and too many “pastors” and now society, have pushed this onto children/adults who’ve been abused in some way; therefore, well into adulthood we have to try to see the Truth through the walls of deception. And, I believe this is what is making the Body of Messiah sick in spirit. This includes those walking confidently in their relationship with Yeshua, those clinging to discipleship by the thread of His tzittzit, and those barely holding on.
I’d better stop now…preaching to myself (as I had to repent again tonight for being too kind to things from my past), and to y’all!